I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
