Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
