We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
