Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
whose parrot is this?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
