As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize