just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize