Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
