so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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