jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
