well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
