this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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