the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
