he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
