Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
