She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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