"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Panties = found
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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