even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
