at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
