her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
All I want is dick and wine.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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