yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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