I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
