Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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