What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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