he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize