he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
