Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
