i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
