I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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