I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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