Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
