i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
