It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
