Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
