Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
