Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
