Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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