i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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