how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
