Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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