note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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