Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
