Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
