Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
