Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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