omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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