i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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