I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
