I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
