the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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