I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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