Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize