I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
