Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
