This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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