I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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