I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
