We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
