does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
