wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize