Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize