So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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